If you could get your chickens to understand two things and then listen what would it be?

For me it would be go to your coop at night because you will die if you try to sleep in the middle of the road (yes the middle of the road) and to stop laying their eggs everywhere but the coop, I have some that will literally hold out until 6:00 p.m. to lay their eggs outside of the coop, and usually in Dumb places like the road the roof where it rolls off and breaks, or in water, I have a couple that I think are inspiring to be ducks